Found Money.

YESTERDAY...
Yesterday, I was standing in the parking lot of the Jewel-Osco, wrapping up a call to my roommate, before I went inside to grab some stuff. Ironically, we were talking about the recent addition of Showtime and Starz to our cable service. Basically, for $14 a month extra, we pick up both channels, by upgrading our package. (If we added either one of them to our service, individually, they would cost $16 apiece.) So, we basically got Starz for $-2 a month. (Joe wanted Showtime. He wants to watch Weeds.)

As we were wrapping up the call, I looked down and there, tucked behind the parking space bumper was a ten dollar bill.

"Holy Crap, I just found a ten dollar bill!" I said. I quickly pocketed it.

"Good for you! Congratulations!" said Joe. And he went back to talking about cable.

I half listened, because I was surveying the immediate area, looking for the envelope full of $100s that I was sure was there, somewhere. I gave Joe the requisite "Yeah"s and "Uh-huh"s, but I was intently scanning the entire hedgerow. When I was satisfied that there was no more stray cash in the area, I wrapped up the call with him and walked inside to do my grocery shopping. Ten dollars richer!

It might've only been $10, but I felt like a million bucks for finding it!

ONCE...
Once, I saw two grown men run and dodge through moving traffic on Ashland Ave, grabbing up one dollar bills that they saw on the side of the road. I don't know how much they found out there, but they laughed and clapped each other on the back and ran out to grab another errant dollar bill, over and over again. Pure, childlike pleasure, mixed with total disregard for personal safety.

All for a few bucks...

ANOTHER TIME...
Another time, I accidentally dropped a $100 bill at the charge card machine, in the train terminal at Midway airport. I didn't realize that it was gone until I was three or four stops down on the blue line.
I debated whether I should go back and look for it or not. On the one hand, someone probably had already grabbed it up and shoved it in their pocket. As I would've done. On the other hand, it might've blown behind the machine and it's just sitting there waiting for me. I imagined my very conservative, very sensible dad saying, "You have to at least go back and look for it. At the very least. You might even find it."
I went back.
It was gone.
End of Story.

I hope the finding of my $100 was a tremendous relief to whoever found it. I hope that it came to them, in a moment of urgent need. That would lessen the blow of the loss. At the very least, I hope that it made them as happy as my $10 made me.

ALWAYS...
There's something undeniably intoxicating about finding cash floating around in the street. Everyone, be they millionaire or pauper, pauses, snatches up the lost cash and then scans the immediate area for extra cash. It feels like the old Easter Egg hunt, all over again! Cash! Moolah! Greenbacks! Yours for the taking! And all you have to do is pick it up! That sentiment strikes people at their very core. It's universal. I think that pleasure is enjoyed, around the world.

SOME DAY...
Some day, when I'm terribly rich from publishing all of these dumb blog entries, I'm going to go pull $200 in $1 bills from an ATM and find a comfy seat at the railing of some little cafe, here in Chicago. I'll order a nice meal and a bottle of wine and sit there, watching the people go by. Casually eating and sipping the wine. A harmless, old man.
When no one is looking, I'll crumple a dollar bill or two together and casually toss them out onto the sidewalk in front of my table.
When someone notices it and snatches it up and begins looking around for the brothers and sisters of the found money, I'll sip my wine and enjoy the pleasure of watching them in their Adult Easte Egg hunt.
If they try to pin the cash on me, I'll deny that it's mine.
If they catch me watching them, I'll say that I was trying to figure out what they dropped. When they tell me, in their excited state, I'll be happy for them, with them.
And when they walk away and nobody is looking, I'll pull out another dollar bill or two and repeat the whole process all over again.

I can't think of a nice way to spend $200, a bottle of wine (or two) and an afternoon. Sitting at a cafe table, making random people deeply, deeply happy.

That would be a very good day, indeed.

Cheers,
Mr.B